How I conceptualise the difference between stress and burnout to my clients — and to myself, for that matter — is this: let’s imagine ourselves as a car.
Stress is like the engine revving really high. The car is making it up the hill and going at the speed we need it to, but the engine is clearly not happy; it’s being pushed too hard for too long. Burnout happens when there has been a total engine failure. We have revved the engine for so long and so high that it eventually gives up the ghost, and the car simply cannot go any further.
Burnout is not a nice place to be. It trickles into every element of your life and can often feel like you’re completely shutting down. Yet, it is a place so many people find themselves in today. So, what can we do about it?
First of all, if we can catch ourselves at the level of stress rather than burnout and take the car in for a service before going full Thelma & Louise and driving it off a cliff, it will be a lot easier to get the engine back in check.
Noticing and becoming attuned to our minds and bodies during times of stress, and recognising these as warning signs that we might need to lower the revs, can make all the difference.
No two people are the same, so what are the warning signs that tell you that you’re in a highly stressed state?
Do you start to struggle to fall asleep, or wake up really early? Do you notice increased cravings for sugary foods, or a lack of desire to eat in the way that usually brings you joy? Do you experience muscle pain, a tight chest or difficulty breathing? Do you find yourself becoming impatient or snappy with your loved ones, or tearful and needing more attention than usual?
And so the list goes on.
Get attuned to your own warning signs and listen to them before we reach engine failure.
So, What Happens When the Engine Has Broken Down?
Let’s say the engine has broken down and we are in the burnout phase. What now?
I’m piggybacking off the advice of a brilliant supervisor I had during my university days, who always spoke about the basic building blocks — the ABCs — of mental health: sleep, diet and exercise.
I come back to her advice all the time, both with my clients and with myself.
Reaching burnout often necessitates a reset, a recalibration and a re-examination of our day-to-day lives. How did I get here? is a question that undoubtedly needs to be reflected upon, whether that is explored in the counselling space or in a quiet moment with your journal.
But the answer to How do I begin to rebuild myself from this point of burnout? I believe, comes back to these basic foundations: ### sleep, diet and exercise.
Sleep
It is alarming how important sleep is to us as human beings. The knock-on effect of not sleeping enough — or not sleeping well enough — is tremendous, and most people who reach burnout will have experienced some form of sleep disturbance.
Check in with yourself: How much sleep have I been getting? How much sleep do I need? What have my bedtime practices been like? What have been my barriers to getting a good night’s sleep?
For more practical guidance on improving your sleep, have a look at my post, Sleep Hygiene 101: Less Theory, More Practice.
When we get enough sleep, the challenges of everyday life can feel far more manageable. It could be the first step towards rebuilding our engines.
Diet
Sometimes, I find, discussions around diet and what constitutes a healthy diet can be more contentious than politics or religion. The impact of our diet on our mental health is still an area of developing research, and I can’t wait to see what we uncover in the future.
What we do know, though, is that the mind and body are intrinsically linked. If we are not supporting and fuelling our bodies with the nutrients and vitamins they need, or if we are not nurturing our gut health, this can have implications for our overall wellbeing.
What you deem to be healthy eating should ultimately be your prerogative. I encourage you to do your own research, seek professional guidance where appropriate, and use the way your body feels as one of the guides.
If you’re asking me what I do: I try to incorporate as much variety of plant matter as possible — vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds and herbs — into my diet every day. I aim to get enough protein for my body weight, reduce inflammatory foods and drinks, steer clear of ultra-processed foods (the stuff that comes in a bag) and limit high-sugar foods.
Also important to me: I use food as a source of joy. Labour over delicious, nourishing meals for yourself because you absolutely deserve it.
An antidote to burnout is fuel, and food is fuel.
Exercise
Exercise can be a challenging one for so many people. But what I’d love people to know is that when I say you need to exercise, I’m not saying you need to sign up for the next Comrades or Ironman.
Exercise can simply mean gentle or moderate movement. When you’re coming from a point of burnout, you might find that this is all you can cope with — and that is okay.
Actually, it’s more than okay. It’s great.
Even a short walk during your day, where you take some time to breathe deeply, appreciate nature if you have access to it, absorb some sunlight (even if it’s a grey day), or perhaps listen to some music or a podcast, can help to restore your engine over time.
Move with the intention that you are giving this time back to yourself — time to help rebuild.
Sometimes, It Really Is That Simple
If you speak to anyone who is an attentive, loving parent and ask them what they do when their child is upset, acting up or simply doesn’t seem themselves, they might say something along the lines of:
"I’ll go through a mental checklist: Have they slept enough? Have they had something to eat? What have they eaten? Have they had a chance to play, run around and get their wiggles out?"
Sometimes, it really is that simple.
Before we start looking for complicated solutions, it can be worth returning to the basics. Have you slept? Have you eaten? Have you moved your body?
These things aren't a cure-all, and burnout can require much more than the basics. But hopefully this post provides accessible, manageable foundations from which we can begin to rebuild.